>Hope

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We must take a doctor mandated two week break before starting fertility medication again. This is a good thing for two reasons, I was able to enjoy this wonderful Valentine’s weekend without shots or ultrasounds or blood work. Also, as part of my Valentine’s gift, Matthew is taking me back to Wake Forest on Thursday! I can’t wait! This means for the time we are gone (Thursday-Sunday) I am a free woman. Hopefully by then the hormones will have made it out of my system, ending my abdominal discomfort and mood swings 😉

Matthew has been the most supportive, understanding and wonderfully loving husband through this whole process. He has come to as many days of testing and doctors appointments as he possibly could. I am not sure if I could have done this without him being the kind husband that he is. It is very clear from my multitude of appointments that this is not the norm for women who are going through infertility to have such understanding husbands.

Thank you all for praying for us through this time. It has been very difficult. Especially once they canceled my cycle last week. Matthew said it best, “it feels like someone has died.” In a sense someone had. This baby that we had hoped for this cycle, he/she is never going to exist because my body did not respond correctly. Thankfully, we believe in a God who has all of this under control. This means that while it may hurt and we may be confused as to the ‘why’ of it all, we still have hope. The Lord knows what he is doing and we must trust in his good and perfect will.

You may wonder why there is a picture of a big box on this post. This is the hope chest that Matthew made for me on our first Christmas together. I have always wanted one to fill with linens, homemade quilts, wedding mementos, baby clothes, etc. I thought it was fitting for this entry. We may not have a baby, but we are still filled with the hope of one. I for one will keep preparing and expanding my tent for the treasures to come!

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