It still hurts sometimes. like now.
I am on my way to adopting a little girl from Taiwan (hopefully this year) and I am glad. If something were to happen (miraculous type something) and I were to get pregnant, I would still work towards our adoption. I love this little girl who may not have even been born. I really do.
But every single time I hear that someone else is pregnant or has just given birth or has just found out they are having a girl or celebrates their baby boy’s first birthday, it feels like a dagger to my heart.
Every single time I hold someone’s son or daughter, I smell their hair and feel their soft skin and my heart breaks into a million pieces because of what I am missing.
If I know you and you are pregnant or have children, don’t worry, it’s not you, it’s me.