Sometimes I just know…and sometimes not.

There have been times that I have just known certain things. Like I knew that I was pregnant. I knew deep in my heart Annie wasn’t coming home. I knew that my best friend and sister-in-law were pregnant before they knew/told anyone. I knew I wanted to marry my husband just a couple months after dating. I knew I wanted to adopt, even as a little girl. There are a lot of things I have just known.

But there is a lot that I don’t know. When I will hold a child in my arms that is legally mine? How many children I will be mommy to? If I will ever give birth to a child? Will the ministry we have at the church we are at be successful? Will Amelia bond with us easily? Will we be able to afford plane tickets? On and on it goes. There are so many things that are unsure but I (try) not to dwell on those things. I try to trust and give it up. Sometimes it is hard, sometimes it is easier.

Right now I would have to say I am somewhere in-between.

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2 Responses to Sometimes I just know…and sometimes not.

  1. Kimberly (Varnadore) Lerchenfeld says:

    Tara,
    Though we haven’t seen each other in over 10 years (since 7th grade!), I was once lucky enough to call you one of my best friends and you still hold a very special place in my heart! I was incredibly happy to find you on Facebook, and to see the beautiful life you have started with your husband. I have been following your adoption journey via this blog and your Facebook, and I have felt both your incredible joy and heart-wrenching pain. I pray constantly for you & your husband to be able to finally hold your little girl in your arms, and have your family completed. I just wanted you to know that your attitude during this entire process has been inspirational. Even when things didn’t go your way, you gave it up to God and continued to believe. I can’t wait for the day that I can finally see that first family photo!

    Sending you constant prayers & love!

  2. Caitlin says:

    What’s the next step for you in the adoption process? I just read through your timeline and I know you had the court date. What is left to be done? Will you travel to Taiwan soon? Sorry I’m asking so many questions. I’m anxious for you! Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. We LOVED getting your card.
    Lots of prayers,
    Caitlin

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